Dance
by LSupergirl
Summary: Out of the tattered remnants of innocence, a bond is formed.
1. Prelude

Takes place before the events of Seduction, but doesn't really follow the timeline of the show. If anyone seems out of character, its because I have only seen a handful of episodes. Yeah, leave it to me to get addicted to a show that was cancelled two years ago. But I digress. All comments happily accepted.   
***  
  
His eyes snapped open as awareness slowly began to creep into his sleep hazed brain. He stared at the ceiling, fighting to calm his racing heart. Just a bad dream. He sucked in a few deep breaths and exhaled noisily, still getting his bearings straight. He raised himself up on an elbow, surveying his surroundings. The others were sleeping peacefully, unaware of his distress.  
  
He swung his legs over the side of his bed, finding the floor with the soles of his feet. Shoving his bedding to the side, he buried his head in his hands. It's okay, he told himself. She's not here. You're safe here.   
  
Waves of guilt and self loathing swept over him at the thought of her. He fought to suppress the bile rising in the back of his throat. Standing up, he grabbed for the sweatshirt hanging on the back of his desk chair. He quickly pulled on his jeans and sneakers, then soundlessly made his way over to the door. He glanced over his shoulder before gently turning the knob and pulling.   
  
He stepped through the door, pulling it closed behind him. The cool night air cleared away the last of his drowsiness as he lazily stretched and yawned. He was well aware that he was in violation, but to hell with their rules. He needed to get away.  
  
He found his feet carrying him to the docks of their own free will. He stopped short when he noticed a lone figure hunched on the edge of the dock at the water's edge. He squinted, trying to identify the person.   
  
She was laying on the dock, with her legs swinging over the edge of the dock. Her hands were folded behind her, propping up her head. Her gaze was directed straight up, toward the sky. Her chest rose and fell irregularly, giving the impression of some inner turmoil. Her long, blonde hair fanned out over the dark wood. Even from where he stood, he could see the shiny tracks of tears over her cheeks.   
  
He stood indecisively for a minute. He took a step back, not wanting to disturb whoever she was. A twig snapped under his sneaker. The girl sat up quickly, startled. She dragged the back of her hand across her eyes, than cautiously looked over her shoulder. Seeing nothing, she directed her gaze toward the water.  
  
Scott cursed under his breath. Shelby. He snapped his mouth shut, stopping himself from saying "skank" aloud. He turned his back to go, then stopped suddenly. She looked so....defeated. A far cry from her usual tough as nails attitude. This Shelby was vulnerable. The impenetrable walls she built around herself during the day were down.   
  
This Shelby was crying uncontrollably, her shoulders heaving and shaking. Sobs wracked through her slender frame. She brought her knees up to her chest and buried her head in her arms, shutting the world out.   
  
Something beckoned to him. He found himself drawing closer and closer to the anguished girl on the dock. Too wrapped up in her misery, she didn't sense his presence until he was standing directly behind her.   
  
She felt the boards underneath her shift as someone else plopped down beside her. She raised her head a fraction of an inch and peaked over her arms. Of all the people... She momentarily forgot her pain as indignation and embarrassment swept over her. How long had he been standing there?  
  
She unfolded her body from its protective position, then ran her fingers through her hair, attempting to bring back some semblance of order to her appearance. The back of her hand again wiped away the fresh tears clinging to her cheeks.   
  
"What do you want," she said, more resigned than curious. Her voice was shaky and flat and she avoided eye contact.  
  
He shrugged.  
  
She rolled her eyes. "What, no witty insults?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"What are you doing out here then?"  
  
"Breaking curfew," he said, half smiling at her.  
  
"Oh."  
  
They lapsed into silence. They had reached some sort of unspoken truce, both silently agreeing not be hostile. He broke the silence first.  
  
"Why were you crying?" he asked gently.  
  
"Why do you care?" she shot back, venom dripping from her words.  
  
He stared at her, clearly not buying the bitch routine. She turned her face back toward the water. He tilted his head sideways, scrutinizing the girl next to him. For the first time, he had the distinct impression that maybe he had been wrong about her. All the anger and hostility was an act. Deep down, she was broken. Like they all were.  
  
"I do care," he said softly.  
  
"Sure," she said stiffly. "Tell that to Queenie."  
  
He rolled his eyes. "Leave Juliette out of this."  
  
"Just leave me alone," she said coldly.   
  
"Fine," he said, beginning to get angry. That was what he got for trying to be nice to her.  
  
She sneaked a glance at him. The muscles in his jaw tightened, and his shoulders tensed. He was agitated. She bit back regret at having alienated him once again. Well, she thought, I would have driven him away at some point anyway. Better now than later.  
  
They sat in stony silence. The water lapped at the wood posts supporting the dock and the crickets chirped in the forest. Finally she spoke.  
  
"I used to dance you know."  
  
He was startled. Where the hell did that come from? He just stared at her, not daring to interrupt.  
  
Her voice took on a soft, dreamy quality, as if she were a million miles away. "Ballet. I wasn't that great, but I loved it. No matter how I was feeling, angry, sad, happy, excited, whenever I danced, I felt like I was floating with the clouds. As if my soul had left my body and gone somewhere better. Have you ever felt like that?"  
  
He seriously contemplated her question for a moment. "I guess the closest I ever came to that was when I played football," he admitted.  
  
She was silent, waiting for him to continue. "I felt...invincible. Like nothing could ever touch me." He smiled faintly to himself, remembering what it felt like to play. He looked at her. She was facing straight ahead again, tears slipping from her eyes.  
  
"Hey," he said softly.   
  
She turned to face him, but lowered her eyes. His thumb and forefinger found her chin. He lifted her chin, forcing her to look him in the eye. He felt as if the wind had been knocked from him. He had the insane urge to protect her from anything that would ever make her cry again. He tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. With the pad of his thumb, he wiped away a few stray tears.   
  
Her eyes slid closed under his touch. Why was he being so sweet to her? Instinctively, she propelled herself into his arms, wrapping her arms around him for dear life. He caught himself as the force of her body almost knocked him over. He wrapped his arms around her, rubbing her back and smoothing her hair.  
  
She buried her face in the crook of his neck, hating herself for showing any signs of weakness, but needing the comfort. She whispered her reason for being on the dock that night into his shoulder, knowing he could hear her anyway.  
  
"Today is the day my step father first molested me..."  
  
His arms tightened around her, immediately empathizing with her. If only she knew...  
  
They held each other until the first rays of sunlight beamed across the sky. As they stood, preparing to sneak back to their dorms, she grabbed his hand. "Thank you."  
  
"For what?"   
  
"For reminding me of what it felt like to dance." 


	2. Uncertainty

Thanks for the encouraging reviews! They really mean a lot to me. You guys rock.  
***  
  
Peter ran lightly over the moss, through the trees. His lungs were burning and sweat dripped from his forehead, pooling at the base of his neck. With a quick swipe of his forearm, he wiped his nose and forehead. The early morning sunlight was just filtering through the trees. He glanced at his watch. He had to get back to the campus to wake the students for chores.  
  
He reached the edge of the campus, still under the protective shade of the surrounding forest. Panting slightly, he began to stretch his tired muscles. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something that immediately prompted him to forget about his aching body. He ducked behind a tree, more as a reflex than a desire to hide.  
  
Two blonde teenagers were walking side by side from the direction of the docks. He looked closer, and was mildly surprised to see that it was Scott and Shelby. Noting that Shelby was wearing the same clothes she had been wearing the previous day, he took a step from behind the tree to bust them. But then he stopped to think about what he was witnessing. Scott and Shelby were actually getting along!  
  
He looked even closer. Something had changed between them. Both looked tired and worn out, but there was a sense of peace radiating from them. There was a sort of calmness in their demeanors that he had never seen before. Even the way they regarded each other had changed. Though they maintained a respectable distance between them, Scott seemed almost protective of Shelby, a far cry from his usual disgust and hostility. And Shelby...she seemed almost content, if the small smile on her lips was any indication.  
  
He stared at them in disbelief, wondering what had prompted the changes in their attitudes. He shook his head slightly, clearing his mind. I won't bust them...yet, he decided. Making a mental note to watch the two teens more carefully, he jogged easily toward the center of campus.  
  
Unaware of the punishment they had narrowly escaped, Scott and Shelby walked quickly back to their dorms. Not a word had been spoken since they left the docks, but the silence between them was hardly uncomfortable.   
  
It wasn't until she had tiptoed back into her dorm that Shelby began to feel uneasy. What the hell was she thinking, baring her soul to someone who didn't know her at all? To someone who didn't bother to hide his contempt for her. What would he think if he knew the whole truth, she thought. He'd never touch me again. I feel so dirty...  
  
"Where were you?" asked Juliette, sitting up in bed.  
  
Shelby gave her her best sneer. "I woke up early this morning to take a walk."  
  
"No, you didn't. You left last night and never came back."  
  
"What do you care?"  
  
"I don't. But I think Peter might find that piece of information interesting..."  
  
"You wouldn't dare," Shelby said, her eyes narrowing.  
  
"Oh, wouldn't I?"  
  
"No, you wouldn't. Because if you do, I might accidentally let it slip to your jocko boyfriend who I saw you locking lips with the other day."  
  
Juliette pressed her lips together, glaring at Shelby. Without another word, she flounced into the bathroom, effectively ending the conversation. Shelby allowed herself an uncharacteristic smile.  
  
"Why so cheery this morning?" asked Daisy, emerging from the bathroom.  
  
"Who's cheery?" she said frowning.  
  
"Never mind," Daisy sighed.  
  
  
Scott let himself into his dorm quietly, relieved to see everyone still asleep. He hurriedly changed clothes and went into the bathroom to brush his teeth. By the time he was finished, there was movement in the room. He silently congratulated himself for successfully breaking the rules. No one suspected a thing.  
  
By the time he got to breakfast, the female members of the Cliffhangers were already seated with trays of food in front of them. He slid into the seat between Juliette and Shelby.  
  
"Good morning!" Juliette greeted him with a perky kiss to his cheek.  
  
"Morning," he replied, glancing at the people seated around him.   
  
Shelby ignored him, her attention intensely focused on dragging bits of pancake through the swirls of syrup on her plate. She stabbed at the triangular pieces with her right hand, idly tapping a knife against her plate with the left.  
  
His gaze rested a bit too long on the sullen blonde, prompting Juliette to nudge him with her elbow. He didn't seem to notice and continued staring at Shelby with a puzzled look on his face. Juliette nudged him harder.  
  
He blinked and turned to Juliette. "What?"  
  
"Why the sudden fascination with the skank?" she pouted.  
  
Abruptly, Shelby banged her silverware down. She shot Juliette an icy glare. "Don't talk about me as if I wasn't sitting three feet away from you!" she yelled, then stormed out of the room.   
  
"Jules!" Scott sighed, staring at the door Shelby had just slammed.  
  
"What? She's a skank and she knows it. She was out all night and didn't come back until this morning. What do you think she was doing?"  
  
"Its none of our business what she was doing with who."  
  
"Only yesterday you were the one going off about how much of a slut she is. What the hell is up with you?"  
  
"I just think there's more to her than anyone realizes." He pushed his tray away and left the table, leaving a stunned Juliette.  
  
"What the heck just happened here?" she asked, her eyes wide with bewilderment.  
  
"Old misconceptions give way to new understandings," Daisy replied cryptically. "The cards never lie."   
  
  
Outside, Scott ran to catch up with Shelby. "Shelby! Wait!"  
  
She pretended not to hear him and walked faster.   
  
"Shelby!" He caught up to her and put a hand on her shoulder.  
  
She shrugged him off angrily. "Just leave me alone."  
  
"What's wrong with you?" he asked, stunned to find the walls firmly in place.  
  
"Look, just because you know about my step father doesn't mean that we have to be all buddy buddy now. We're not friends." She stood with her arms crossed tightly against her chest, her body language screaming "stay away from me."  
  
The fire behind his eyes ignited, and his voice rose. "What the hell is your problem? I'm just trying to help!"  
  
"I don't need your help. Go back to the prom queen." She turned on her heel and stalked away, heading for the sanctuary of the forest.  
  
She heard the heavy tread of his footsteps carrying him back to the others, back to her. She told herself she wasn't disappointed that he failed the test. She told her stupid chin to stop quivering, and instead built another wall. She stayed in the forest, a hidden damsel in distress imprisoned in a fortress of her own making, waiting for her knight. But he never came. 


	3. Discovery

Scott stalked back to breakfast. He angrily muttered expletives under his breath, directed at Shelby, himself, and anyone who happened to cross his path. He was ready to take out the next person who so much as looked at him the wrong way. But when he walked back into the cafeteria, something strange happened. Even though Auggie was whispering into a giggling Juliette's ear, he had no desire to punch him. He could have cared less what Juliette was doing. The implications of his indifference were not lost on Scott. He swiftly changed his course and instead headed back toward the docks to think.  
  
Daisy, the only one who saw Scott's short reentry, leaned back in her chair, deep in thought. Something strange was going on. First, Shelby left the dorm room last night, looking haunted. She stayed out all night, then returned in the morning looking almost giddy. Not two seconds upon her arrival to the room, she switched back into her usual gloomy self. Her mood further deteriorated until breakfast, where she hardly ate anything and didn't insult anyone at all. Then, instead of letting Juliette have it at the skank comment, she ran away. But the real kicker in this conundrum was Scott. His behavior was positively bizarre. Instead of fending off Shelby's not so subtle advances, as he usually did, he stared at her. Instead of making out with Juliette at the breakfast table, he ignored her. He actually DEFENDED Shelby to Juliette and ran after her when she left. But the most surprising part, he didn't flip out when he saw Auggie and Juliette getting cozy in his absence. Daisy frowned. What did it all mean? It was no secret that Shelby wanted Scott, but for her to ignore him and for him to be the one chasing Shelby...it just didn't make any sense.  
  
Ezra looked over at Daisy. She was obviously deep in thought. Her eyes gazed at a meaningless spot on the table while her head tilted slightly to the side. Her brow was furrowed in deep contemplation.   
  
"Earth to Daisy!"  
  
Her eyes lifted to meet his. She leaned toward him dramatically. "Have you noticed anything strange going on here?"  
  
He gave her a blank look. "Like what?"  
  
"Not what, who," she corrected. She raised her eyebrows, waiting for him to realize what she was talking about.  
  
"I'm going to need more to go on than that," he sighed.  
  
She rolled her eyes. "With Scott and Shelby," she whispered loudly.  
  
He shrugged. "I haven't seen Shelby since yesterday. Sarcastic as usual. But Scott..."  
  
Daisy leaned in even closer. "What about Scott?"  
  
"He sneaked out last night. Didn't come back until this morning."  
  
Daisy smiled in triumph. "Aha! That's it. That's the missing link."  
  
Ezra's face scrunched in confusion. "Okay, mind filling me in?"   
  
"I think something's going on with Scott and Shelby," she whispered confidently.  
  
"Scott and Shelby?" he said loudly.  
  
"Shhhhhh!" she hissed, giving him a warning glare.  
  
"Scott and Shelby?" he whispered. "No way, they're always at each other's throats."  
  
"You know what they say...it's a thin line between love and hate."  
  
"But Scott is with Juliette," he argued.  
  
Daisy shrugged nonchalantly. "Not for much longer."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"I don't. But all the signs point to that conclusion."  
  
"Well, I think you're crazy," he said, sawing away at a sausage link.  
  
"We'll see about that," she said mysteriously.  
  
  
  
Scott sat on the edge of the dock, in the exact same spot he had occupied only hours before. He sat with his feet on the dock shoulder width apart and knees bent. His elbows rested on his knees, his right hand holding on to his left wrist. He stared out over the water without really seeing it.   
  
Something had changed. Somewhere over the course of the night, as he had held her in his arms, he had developed feelings for her. Or maybe he just felt sorry for her, because he knew what she was going through. That had to be it. Why else would he be acting this way? He didn't even like her as a person, so how could he have feelings for her?  
  
But then again, he had never seen her as a person, not until she broke down in front of him. Up until then, she had been nothing more than a mask, refusing to let anyone see what was hidden beneath. He raked his fingers through his blond curls, spiking them up haphazardly. He bowed his head, eyes closing in frustration.  
  
He didn't know what he felt. All he knew was that there was more to Shelby than she let on, and he was going to discover it. Because she deserved that much. Because he knew what it felt like to be abused that way. But most of all, because he had felt more when he touched her than he had ever felt in any of his kisses with Juliette.  
  
  
The Cliffhangers gathered at the lodge for group that night. Shelby had finally come out of the forest acting like her usual self. Scott steered clear of her. In fact, they both avoided each other like the plague, which Ezra noted and pointed out to Daisy.  
  
"Okay," Peter said. "You know the drill. Pass the staff, one line beginning with 'when.' You're up, Scott."  
  
Scott glanced at Shelby, then returned his gaze to the ground. "When you think no one is looking, I see you." He passed the staff to Daisy.   
  
She gave Ezra a pointed look, then cleared her throat. "When you least expect it, everything changes." She tossed the staff across the circle to Shelby.  
  
She was silent for a moment. Should she offer a sarcastic comment as usual, or really say something this time? "When I push you away, it's because I don't know how to let you in," she said, the truth in her statement disguised by her disinterested tone of voice.  
  
The staff was passed around the rest of the group, but Scott and Shelby were no longer listening. They regarded each other neutrally, from opposite sides of the circle. They didn't notice that at least three pairs of eyes were watching their exchange with no small amount of interest, while one pair of eyes rested on Shelby suspiciously.  
  
Peter, sensing that the Cliffhangers needed time to work things out on their own much more than they needed group at that point, called an early end to the meeting. He left them up to their own devices, reminding them to be back in their dorms by curfew.   
  
Juliette bit her lip as she watched Scott and Shelby drawing toward each other from opposite sides of the room, as if by some magnetic force. She wasn't stupid. It was time to end it.   
  
"Hey Jules, want to walk back with me?" asked Auggie hopefully.  
  
She smiled at him genuinely. "I would like that," she said sweetly.  
  
Daisy called out to Ezra. "C'mon, time to go."  
  
"Wait a second," he said distractedly, eyes glued to Scott and Shelby.  
  
Daisy rolled her eyes. "I meant now," she said, dragging him to where Kat stood waiting.  
  
"But Daisy.." he protested, as she dragged him outside.  
  
Shelby looked up at Scott, wondering what was going to happen next.  
  
"Can we go somewhere and talk?" he asked urgently.  
  
She ignored the uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. "Alright."  
  
Peter watched them go, wondering if he should follow. No, he decided. They need to work whatever it is out on their own terms.  
  
By some unspoken agreement they found themselves at the dock once more. They sat silently, neither wanting to broach the subject first. Scott cleared his throat.  
  
"Look, I just want you to know...what I mean is...what you told me last night. I...well, I know what you're going through. What it's like..." he trailed off.  
  
"...To be abused by a step parent," she finished for him. She glanced at him, knowing instinctively what he was trying to tell her. "Step father or step mother," she asked gently.  
  
"Step mother," he admitted painfully.  
  
She nodded in understanding. "Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
He shook his head. "Not right now."  
  
"Okay."  
  
Tentatively, she reached over and laced her fingers through his. He looked at their clasped hands, warmth spreading through him. They sat there, bathed in the moonlight, under the watchful eye of an unseen Peter. It wouldn't matter if they were late for curfew that night. 


	4. Comfort

Sorry about the delayed update. I actually tried to upload this baby on the same day that the site went down. Go figure. At any rate, thanks to those who continued to review despite the lack of updates.   
***  
Shelby struggled with the heavy pack strapped to her back. She expertly balanced all the weight on her left shoulder, fiddled with the strap on the right, then evened out the balance once more with a small hop. The bottom of the pack settled against her lower back with a light thump. She blew a stray chunk of hair off her forehead, a frustrated scowl briefly settling over her features.  
  
Scott caught her look of annoyance and flashed her a brief smile. She attempted to return it, but gave up when the corners of her mouth refused to cooperate. He slowed his pace a little, just enough to allow her to comfortably match his strides. They walked side by side, their shoulders occasionally brushing due to the extra twenty pounds they carried on their backs.  
  
"What's up?" he asked casually.  
  
She shot a death glare in the general direction of Peter's turned back. "This blows," she complained. "I really hate these stupid hikes."  
  
Scott smirked in response.  
  
"Besides," she continued, "the last thing I need is to sit by myself for three days."  
  
"Look at it this way," he said. "No curfew. No chores. No group."  
  
"No people to annoy me," she said, catching on. She brightened. "This is the best hike ever."  
  
"Glad you see it my way."  
  
She nudged him playfully with her shoulder, almost falling over in the process.  
  
He steadied her with a strong arm, grinning.  
  
Juliette rolled her eyes. She was about ten feet behind them, just behind Daisy and Ezra, but she had an unobstructed view of their antics. Scott had broken up with her only the day before. 'Listen Jules, I don't think this is working out...' She had secretly agreed and was glad that he had taken the initiative and ended it. But did he have to go chasing after Shelby, of all people? Just because she didn't want to be with Scott didn't mean that she wanted Scott to be with Shelby. She silently stewed while the ubiquitous pleasant smile remained firmly plastered on her face.  
  
Auggie looked at her longingly. He had been thrilled when Scott had broken up with Juliette. He was smitten with her. But no matter what he did, she didn't seem to notice or care about the overtures he made to win her. He didn't know what else to do. Better do something quick, he thought. A girl like Jules won't be alone forever.  
  
Peter came to a stop in front of a slightly run down cabin. He raised his hands in front of his face and gave three staccato claps, a signal for the Cliffhangers to gather around him and listen up.  
  
"Alright, Cliffhangers," he said in an authoritative voice. "This is the main solo cabin. All of your individual sites are within two miles of here. Take a good look around, because you'll need to be able to find your way back here if anything goes wrong."  
  
Sophie effortlessly picked up where Peter left off. "You all know what to do. Remember, the point of this hike is to take you back to your childhood. In your backpacks, you'll find a memento we had your parents send up. A touchstone to help guide you."  
  
"Fabulous," Shelby muttered under her breath.  
  
"Okay," said Peter. "Follow us. We'll take each of you to your sites."   
  
  
Shelby finished putting up her tent and stepped back to admire her handiwork. She rooted through her backpack looking for matches to start a fire. Instead, she came across an unfamiliar bundle wrapped in a white plastic bag. She gingerly held it away from her body, almost afraid of its contents. She rolled her eyes and tossed it to the side with a disgusted look.  
  
Scott watched her from behind the trees. He glanced around him quickly, on the lookout for Peter or Sophie. If they caught him he would be chopping wood for the rest of his natural life. Seeing no one, he stepped out into the small clearing that was Shelby's solo site. "Hey."  
  
"Hey," she said, turning from her freshly built fire to face him. "Did they already check up on you too?"  
  
He nodded. "I stuffed my sleeping bag with leaves too, just in case."  
  
"You rebel."  
  
He made himself comfortable on a log in front of the roaring fire. "So what did your mom send?"  
  
She shrugged.  
  
"You didn't even look?"  
  
She shook her head.  
  
"Are you going to?"  
  
"Maybe later," she said vaguely.  
  
He dropped the subject, not missing her feigned disinterest in the subject. She obviously didn't want to talk about whatever was bugging her.   
  
Shelby shook her head, amused. She wasn't surprised that he had interrupted her solo. She had practically invited him to. Still, he was so predictable.  
  
He watched the fire in fascination. The orange flames leaped up toward the sky, crackling and constantly in motion. He looked closer and saw for the first time how the inner layer of fire, where it was burning the brightest, was white. Funny how something so pure could be surrounded by heat and smoke...  
  
"I'm going to go to bed now," she said suddenly, breaking his trance.  
  
"Alright," he said. He remained seated by the fire, not anxious to return to his own lonely campsite.  
  
"Well, are you coming or not?" she asked impatiently.  
  
He blinked in surprise. Was she asking him to sleep in her tent? He paused. "Okay," he said slowly.  
  
She held the flap of her tent aside as he entered. "You better not snore," she dead panned.  
  
"I wouldn't dare," he said, stretching out on the canvas bottom of the tent. He stared up at the roof of the tent. He felt the comforting warmth radiating from her body as she spread out next to him, maintaining a proper distance between them. He finally allowed a smile to settle itself on his lips as he drifted off to sleep.  
  
  
  
Shelby's eyes snapped open. What the heck? Something had woken her up. It was the middle of the night, she guessed. The fire outside the tent had died down to embers and the crickets continued their chirping songs. She felt Scott thrashing around next to her.  
  
"No...you said it was the last time," he mumbled, the desperation evident in his voice. She listened in horrified silence. He must be dreaming about his step mother.  
  
"Scott," she said finally, shaking his shoulder. "Wake up!"  
  
Tears gathered at the corners of his tightly closed eyes. He grimaced, the anguish on his face heartbreaking. "You said no more..."  
  
"Scott!"  
  
He opened his eyes slowly, scared that he was home and that he would find her in bed with him. He almost sobbed in relief as he found himself looking into Shelby's bewildered eyes. He let out an unsteady breath and realized he was shaking. He buried his face in his hands, trying to regain control of his emotions. He was mortified that he'd had a nightmare about her in front of Shelby.  
  
Shelby stared at his bent head, concerned. He needed comfort, but what the heck was she supposed to do to soothe him? Her hand slowly reached out to him. Her tentative fingers lightly stroked his back, not knowing what else to do.  
  
It was enough. He calmed and his heart rate returned to normal. He raised his eyes and offered her a tiny smile. She threaded her fingers through his and gave his hand a firm squeeze. Wordlessly, they went back to sleep, their clasped hands enough to keep the nightmares at bay. 


	5. Nostalgia

"Peter," Sophie said urgently. She closed the door of the cabin behind her and shrugged off her jacket.  
  
He looked up from the fire he was stoking. "What's up, Soph?" he asked, hearing the distress in her voice.  
  
"Scott isn't at his site. I checked on everyone right before sunset and he was in his tent. But then I checked again just now and he's gone."  
  
"What?" He stood up straight, his brow furrowing in confusion. "He knows the rules. Are you sure?"  
  
"I'm telling you, he's not there! He stuffed his sleeping bag with leaves."  
  
"Where would he go?" He fell silent, his subconscious helpfully supplying him with the answer.  
  
"Peter...do you know where he is?" she asked, suspicious of his sudden silence.  
  
"Did you happen to check on Shelby yet?"   
  
"Shelby? What does she have to do with this?"  
  
"Scott's with Shelby," he said flatly.  
  
"Why would he be with Shelby? If he's with anyone, it's Juliette."  
  
"C'mon," he said, grabbing his jacket from a hook by the door.   
  
Sophie quickly followed, catching the door before it slammed shut. She hurried after Peter, wondering what the hell had just taken place.  
  
They approached Shelby's site. They saw a fire, nearly burnt out. "In the tent," Peter whispered.  
  
They tiptoed toward the front of the tent. Slowly, Peter unzipped the flap.  
  
Sophie shined her flashlight inside the tent. Her eyes widened in surprise as the beam fell across the sleeping face of Scott Barringer. She shifted the light over to the side, and Shelby's profile came into view. Their hands were clasped tightly between them, though it was the only place their bodies touched.  
  
Peter observed the scene in front of him, a troubled look on his face. He could overlook the time on the docks, since he couldn't be sure they had stayed out the whole night and not woken up early for a walk. But this was blatant proof that they were breaking the rules without any regard to himself or Sophie.  
  
He was no fool. He knew that for some reason they were opening up to each other, more so than they opened up to the rest of the group or even to himself. The dried tears on Scott's cheeks was proof enough. But they had to learn that they weren't above the rules set forth by Horizon, no matter how much they might depend on each other.   
  
He sighed. Why did they insist on making his job harder and harder for him to do? He turned to Sophie to motion for her to follow him outside. He stopped short, his arm falling limply to his side. There was a softness in her face as she looked at the sleeping teens. In all the times he had looked at Sophie Becker, Peter had never seen that particular expression cross her face. A touch of wistfulness, hints of understanding, and the kind of wisdom that only comes from experience. He felt his heart skip a beat.  
  
She looked up just then. He quickly averted his eyes, embarrassed of the strange new thoughts swirling around in his head. He was afraid that the brief instant of eye contact had betrayed what he was feeling.  
  
She switched off her flashlight with a soft click, not wanting to wake them. She cautiously picked her way through the darkened tent to the flap. With some difficulty, Peter swallowed and followed her outside.  
  
A faint rustling of canvas woke Scott from his sleep. He listened carefully, instinctively knowing that they weren't alone.   
  
Shelby stirred beside him. For the second time that night, she was pulled from the comforting lull of sleep into wakefulness. She opened her eyes and saw him sitting up rigidly. His eyes were alert.  
  
"What's wrong?" she yawned.  
  
He relaxed considerably. "I thought I heard something, but whatever it was, I think it's gone now."  
  
Her eyes fluttered closed sleepily. "Good..."  
  
He smiled affectionately at her. "Night Shelb."  
  
She was already asleep.  
  
"I don't know what I'd do without you." He rolled over and tried to go back to sleep.  
  
  
Sophie held her breath. The soft murmuring of Scott and Shelby was barely audible through the walls of the tent, but the underlying emotion behind the words came through loud and clear. She was enchanted. Though the cynical part of her scoffed at the naive sweetness of their bond, her soul yearned for the innocence of a first love. She marveled at the intense longing in the pit of her stomach and wondered how the two teenagers had managed to evoke those long forgotten feelings.   
  
Peter stood tall and strong beside her. The emotions in his face mirrored her own, except for his mouth, set in a grim line. He was at a loss. He understood what they were going through, he really did. But he couldn't let this one slide. It was inappropriate for the two to be sleeping in the same tent without supervision, especially since they were supposed to be on a solo anyway. He had to discipline them, but how?  
  
Sophie looked at him sympathetically. She understood what he had to do, no matter how much they wanted to turn a blind eye. "Should we wake them?" she whispered in his ear.  
  
His eyes looked regretful. "We're going to have to. We can't let them sleep together the whole night." He thought for a minute. "Okay, here's what we're going to have to do. Since Shelby doesn't know where Scott's site is, we'll move Shelby to a different site. That way they can finish what's left of their solos alone. We'll have to figure out a punishment when we get back."  
  
Sophie nodded as she moved towards the flap of the tent. She didn't worry about how much noise she made this time. As she crouched under the flap, she saw Scott already sitting up and waking Shelby.  
  
"Shelby," he said, shaking her shoulder.  
  
"Not again," she groaned. "What now?"  
  
"We're busted," he said.  
  
"We're what?" A coldness seeped into the pit of her stomach. She knew without a doubt that they were in a crap load of trouble.  
  
Peter and Sophie crouched in the entrance of the tent. Strangely enough, they didn't look angry. Their expressions were unreadable but troubled.   
  
Peter spoke first. "Scott, Sophie is going to walk you back to your site now."   
  
Scott squeezed her hand briefly, then stood up. He walked out of the tent without looking back. Sophie quickly followed.  
  
Shelby sat up in her sleeping bag and looked at him unrepentantly.   
  
"Okay, Shel. Pack up. You're moving."   
  
She shrugged indifferently. "Aye aye, Captain."  
  
Ten minutes later, she followed Peter to a new site. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?" he asked, not expecting an answer.  
  
Surprisingly, she spoke. "I'm not sorry. He needed me."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
But she wouldn't say another word.  
  
When Peter arrived back at the cabin, Sophie sat warming her hands in front of the fire. "Did you get anything out of Scott?"  
  
"Not a thing. You?"  
  
"Just that she wasn't sorry, because Scott needed her."   
  
They fell silent, until Sophie changed the subject. "Do you think they'll go looking for each other?"  
  
"Well as far as Scott is concerned, Shelby is still at her original site. And I backtracked and went in circles with Shelby, so I don't think she'll be able to find her way back to the other site."  
  
"This feels so wrong," Sophie said quietly.   
  
"I know," said Peter gravely. "I don't think their relationship is anything beyond friendship right now."  
  
"It's only a matter of time," Sophie said ironically.   
  
  
The next morning, Scott sneaked back to Shelby's site. He was only mildly surprised to see no one there. He didn't really think they'd be stupid enough to let her stay there. But he'd hoped...He started to head back to his site when he noticed an object from the corner of his eye.   
  
A white bag was placed deliberately on top of the log where the fire had been. He crossed the distance to the bag in a split second. The plastic rustled as his hand reached in. His fingers found a smooth, satiny material. He lifted his hand from the bag and held the contents up. A long pink ribbon was tangled in his fingers. A tiny delicate slipper, pink and well worn, dangled from the ribbon. In his mind's eye, he saw a tiny wisp of a girl, blonde hair pulled into a long ponytail, wearing a pink tutu. She twirled around and around forever, giggling.  
  
He gently placed the shoe back in the bag. He clutched it to his chest protectively as he made his way back to his site. He finally had something he wasn't afraid to think about. 


	6. Consequences and Other Heartache

Chapter Six: Consequences and Other Heartache  
  
  
They sat side by side on the wood bench outside Peter's office. Scott resisted the urge to joke that they were like two kids waiting to be called in to see the principal. The Cliffhangers had just completed their solos and hiked back that morning. Scott and Shelby had been attached at the hip since they were picked up at their solo sites. Horizon had just come into view when Peter grimly informed them that they were to come to his office after unloading their gear.   
  
Scott's leg bounced up and down on the ball of his foot. The unconscious mannerism gave away his anxiety. It grated on Shelby's nerves. He was shaking the whole bench. Suddenly, she slammed a palm down on his knee, stilling his movements.  
  
"Calm down," she said, the slightest hint of annoyance creeping into her tone.  
  
"Sorry," he said sheepishly.  
  
"Don't worry about it," she said. The hard planes of her face softened, immediately contrite for snapping at him. "They didn't seem mad. It probably won't be that big of a deal."  
  
The door opened. They nearly jumped out of their skins. Peter poked his head around the corner. He gestured for them to come in. They immediately jumped to their feet, flustered. Peter cracked a smile. "Relax. You're not on death row here."   
  
They calmed slightly. He stood to the side as they filed in and sat in the chairs in front of his desk. He closed the door behind them and seated himself on the edge of his desk.  
  
A good sign, Scott noted. If he was really angry he would have sat behind the desk.  
  
They stared up at him warily. He opened his mouth, then immediately shut it. He stood up and paced in front of them. They looked at each other in confusion. He stopped suddenly. "You will both have to repeat the solo. I think we all know that the point of the solo was not realized this time around."  
  
"When?" asked Shelby.  
  
"Whenever we feel that you are ready."  
  
Scott nodded. That was fair. Shelby raised her eyebrow, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Another moment of silence.  
  
"What's our punishment?" she asked finally.  
  
"You tell me."   
  
This time the look they exchanged was pure bewilderment.   
  
"I don't get it," said Scott.  
  
"I'm going to level with you," Peter began. "I'm at a loss with you two. I see good stuff happening, both in group and in your general attitudes. Let me know if I'm way off base here, but I think it's because of this understanding that you have. I can't explain it, and I don't think you can either. I don't want to put an end to this...friendship that you have going. But I also can't let you run around with impunity. So tell me what you think I should do."  
  
He sat down behind the desk. He watched with veiled amusement as they surreptitiously exchanged another look, this one clearly screaming 'Is he serious?'  
  
He studied them from behind the desk. He rested his elbows on the surface of the desk and fisted his right hand inside the left.  
  
Shelby gaped at him, her mouth partially hanging open in amazement. Running through her mind were all the lectures and cliches she had expected him to spout. This was definitely not one of them. In fact, it was a little disconcerting to see Predictable Peter so unpredictable. She snapped her mouth shut.  
  
Finally he stood up. "Since neither of you have any ideas, I'll decide. Kitchens for two weeks, starting Monday."   
  
"That's it?" Scott blurted out. He felt a sharp pinch under his ribs where Shelby elbowed him.  
  
"That's it."  
  
Shelby quickly stood up, ready to bolt before he changed his mind.   
  
"Shel, you can go. Scott, I have something to discuss with you."  
  
They exchanged a final glance, a silent communication that Peter was not privy to. Suddenly in no hurry to leave, Shelby scuffled her way to the door and pulled it shut with a soft click.  
  
She made her way out of the wood lodge and into the crisp air. She breathed in deeply, enjoying the scent of late autumn at Horizon. There had never been air like that in California. A gentle breeze rustled the fallen leaves and sent them into swirling patterns as they danced over the uneven ground.   
  
She was headed for the docks. It had become their unofficial meeting place. It had never been verbalized, but she automatically associated it with Scott and vice versa. She plopped down on the ancient boards and waited.  
  
She was lightly dozing on the docks when she heard the unmistakable tread of his footsteps creak the boards. She turned to greet him. The small smile she wore was replaced with a look of concern when she saw his expression. The anxiety he felt prior to their meeting with Peter was nothing compared to his agitation now.   
  
"What happened?" she asked, alarmed.  
  
He looked like he was on the verge of tears. "She's coming here."  
  
She understood what he meant immediately. "When?"  
  
"Tomorrow."  
  
"And your dad?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
She grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly.  
  
He pulled her closer, engulfing her in his arms. He fiercely held her against his chest as if she were his favorite teddy bear.  
  
She was startled at the close contact but recovered quickly and hugged him back. Her eyes were troubled as she looked at the setting sun over his shoulder.  
  
  
  
Sophie rapped on the door softly. Hearing his affirmative answer, she stepped inside the darkening room. "How did it go with Scott?" she asked curiously.  
  
"Not well," Peter said frowning.   
  
"But he's so close to his father! I thought he would be excited." Sophie looked confused.  
  
"He was, until I told him his step mother was coming too."  
  
"So he was angry?"  
  
"No. He was panicky. Scared. I've never seen him so scared..."   
  
"Do you think he'll run?"  
  
"I don't know. But I'll keep an eye on him, just in case."  
  
  
  
Shelby had trouble sleeping that night. She couldn't stop thinking about the trials that would await Scott in the morning. She couldn't imagine having to face her step father again. In fact, it was her inability to face what was happening to her that landed her at Horizon in the first place. Her attention was drawn to a flurry of flashes illuminating the wall opposite her window. She smiled.  
  
She had fallen into the habit of sleeping with the curtains pulled back from the window ever since she and Scott had started signaling each other with flashlights. They had worked out a simple system loosely based on Morse Code in order to communicate after lights out.   
  
She rolled out of bed and retrieved her flashlight from under her bed. She crouched by her window sill and flashed once, letting him know that she was awake. He flashed his message again. 'Meet me outside,' it said. She flashed an affirmative reply.  
  
As she was pulling on her sneakers, Daisy's voice startled her. "How Shakespearean," she drawled in her usual mocking tone. "The secret lovers meeting under the cover of darkness, at the risk of death. Or, in our case, shuns."  
  
Shelby rolled her eyes as she pulled on her coat over her pajamas. She knew Daisy wouldn't rat her out. "You know it's not like that," she said, exasperated.  
  
Daisy shrugged. "Be careful," she cautioned.  
  
Shelby smirked. "Oh please. We haven't gotten caught once."  
  
"First time for everything."  
  
Scott was waiting for her outside. They sat on the tufts of grass that separated the boys dorm from the girls, just out of reach of the soft glow that lit up the trails. He was jittery and his expression was haunted. "I had another nightmare."  
  
"You don't have to see her if you don't want to," she said softly. "They can't make you."  
  
"I'll have to sooner or later if I ever want to see my dad again."  
  
She hesitated, knowing he wasn't going to like what she was going to say. "Maybe you should tell your dad."  
  
"He'll never believe me," he said, frustrated. He lowered his head. "He loves her," he whispered.  
  
She moved closer and forced his eyes to meet hers. "You're his son. He loves you," she emphasized. "She can't compete with that."  
  
He wouldn't allow himself to be comforted. "I'm going to try to get some sleep." He neatly side stepped the subject and dismissed her, all in one shot. He walked away without waiting for a reply. She cast a long suffering look at the stars above and went back inside.  
  
  
  
His heart leaped into his throat as he saw his father's familiar car pull up in front of the lodge. He had no idea what to expect. Peter give him a reassuring pat on the back as his father stepped out of the car. Father and son regarded each other for a brief second. Mr. Barringer's face broke into a happy smile. He held his arms out to his son. Scott's face assumed a similar smile before he flew into his father's embrace.  
  
Shelby's lips curved into a pleased smile. She was happy for him. From her vantage point on the steps of the lodge, it looked to be a heartfelt reunion.  
  
Martin Barringer pulled away from his son and held him at arms length. "You look great," he said approvingly. His son looked much the way he had before: healthy, alert, and most important, happy. "You've done well," he said to Peter.  
  
Peter smiled. "Give credit where it's due," he said. "Scott's made a lot of progress in the last month."  
  
A new voice joined in. "Scotty, you look like your old self." Elaine was now standing with her arm slung around her husband's waist.  
  
Scott visibly recoiled. "Well I'm not," he said, inching way.  
  
Shelby's eyes narrowed as she assessed Elaine. Exotically pretty, in a dark, conniving sort of way. She wasn't fooled by the eyelash batting doe-eyes that Peter was being subjected to. Any physical beauty she might possess was quickly overshadowed by the ugliness that lay hidden beneath the surface.  
  
Elaine's perfectly timed entrance left a palpable curtain of tension hanging in the air. It effectively ended the small talk and pleasantries, leaving everyone standing uncomfortable and disconcerted by the sudden shift in mood.  
  
Peter's discerning eye quickly picked up on the cause of the sudden transformation. How strange. He made a mental note to bring up the topic of his step mother in Scott's next session. Initially, he thought the anger stemming from his parents' divorce was the cause of Scott's hostility toward Elaine. But now he had the distinct impression that there was more to it than that.  
  
Scott unconsciously sought out Shelby's presence. She was the only one who understood what was really going on. He reached his hand out behind him and was relieved when she took it.  
  
Mr. Barringer's shrewd eyes picked up on the connection. He desperately grabbed at the new thread of conversation, like a drowning man might grab at a life preserver. "Hello," he said pleasantly, striding over to Shelby and holding out his hand. "I'm Martin Barringer, Scott's father."  
  
She hesitantly dropped Scott's hand. "It's nice to meet you," she said genuinely. "I'm Shelby."  
  
"Shelby's my best friend," Scott spoke up, needing his father to understand the importance of her role in his life.  
  
Something inside of her awakened in recognition of his words. She stood up straighter, proud that he thought of her that way.  
  
Mr. Barringer nodded at her. Then he looked at Scott. "You hungry?"  
  
"Are you kidding? I'm dying for some real food." After a quick good bye to Shelby and Peter, they walked to the car. Elaine was seated in the front seat, applying more lipstick.   
  
Shelby sat on the steps once more, refusing to leave until they had driven off. Scott came running back to the stairs. "My dad wants to know if you want to come too." He looked at her hopefully.  
  
"Peter?" she asked.  
  
He nodded his assent. "I'll see you two later."  
  
  
  
They were seated at Rusty's with plates of burgers and fries placed in front of them. Shelby didn't like the appraising glances or innuendo laced comments that Elaine directed at Scott. Mr. Barringer remained blissfully unaware, simply content to have his family whole again.  
  
Shelby was fuming. Why couldn't he see what was going on right in front of him? And what was wrong with Elaine, blatantly hitting on her stepson in front of her husband? For the first time, Shelby saw what it was like in Scott's world. It wasn't all football and homecoming queens like she had assumed. No, it was more like the American dream turned nightmare.  
  
Elaine directed her cool gaze at Shelby. "So, Shelly, where are you from?"  
  
"Actually, it's Shelby," she barely said through clenched teeth. "And I'm originally from California."  
  
"If you don't mind me asking," she said in a friendly conversational tone, "why are you at Horizon?"  
  
Shelby's tightly clenched hands shook under the table, though her face was a picture of nonchalance. Scott looked like he was going to throw up.  
  
"Well," she said, her anger making her bold, "I ran away from home and turned to drugs, among other things, as a result of the physical and sexual abuse I suffered at the hands of my step father." She stressed the last two words, clearly telling Elaine exactly what she thought of her.  
  
Her eyes, now blazing with anger, caught the brief instant when Elaine lost her composure and blanched.   
  
Elaine quickly dodged back. "'Among other things?'"  
  
Martin looked like he was about to say something, but was interrupted by his cell phone. He sighed. "I'm sorry. If you'll excuse me."  
  
Elaine seized her opportunity. "Shelby, will you show me where the bathroom is?" she asked sweetly.  
  
"It's right over there." Scott pointed condescendingly to the clearly marked sign, his voice full of disgust.  
  
"She might get lost," Shelby said snidely. "I'd be happy to show her the way."   
  
Shelby stood and turned, waiting for Elaine. Elaine laid a hand on Scott's shoulder. "We'll be back soon, Scotty," she said in a sultry voice.  
  
He unsuccessfully tried to suppress a shudder as he batted her hand away.  
  
Shelby's blood boiled. She stalked to the bathroom, not waiting to see if the other woman was following. She had already seen enough.  
  
Luckily, the restroom was empty. "You disgust me," Shelby hissed. "They should lock up people like you."  
  
"Oh Shelby," Elaine said woefully. "There's a lot you need to learn about men."  
  
Shelby barely restrained herself from contradicting her. There's no need to give her more ammunition, she reminded herself. Especially since I haven't even told Scott.  
  
"Men are fickle," Elaine continued. "Scotty used to write me the most heart wrenching love letters. But look at the way he treats me now."  
  
"Because you forced him to have sex with you and ruined his family!" Shelby sputtered.  
  
Elaine continued speaking as if she hadn't heard her. "How long do you think it will be before he gets tired of you too?" Her calculating eyes probed Shelby's defiant ones.  
  
Shelby's insecurities began to get the best of her. "You can't hide this forever," she said shakily, her rage slowly giving way to fear.  
  
"Who's going to tell? Scotty wouldn't dare. And Martin wouldn't believe a trashy little whore like you." Her smug voice floated away into nothingness as she let Shelby absorb the stinging insult.  
  
She felt her stomach turn over painfully. She felt nauseous. Elaine had gotten the best of her. Elaine had won.  
  
  
  
"Everything okay?" Martin asked brightly, as Elaine sauntered back to the table. Shelby trailed behind her listlessly.   
  
"Just wonderful," Elaine smiled and pecked him on the cheek. "Shelby and I were just getting better acquainted." She winked at Shelby.  
  
Shelby wanted to throw up. Scott looked at her questioningly. She avoided his gaze. He could only speculate as to what must have happened in there. He was all too familiar with Elaine's little mind games. He began to get a sinking feeling in his stomach. He never should have subjected Shelby to Elaine. He should have been strong enough to deal with her on his own. But no, he had selfishly dragged Shelby into it. And now there was no telling what Elaine had done to her.  
  
"Uh, Dad?"   
  
"Yes, Scott." His father smiled at him.  
  
"Do you think we could head back now? I'm feeling kind of tired."  
  
Martin's smile faltered a little bit. "Oh, sure. If that's what you want. We'll have plenty of time to catch up tomorrow. We're here for the whole weekend, after all."  
  
Scott smiled back weakly.  
  
Elaine calmly munched on her salad.  
  
  
  
When they arrived back at Horizon, it was just after curfew. They headed back to their respective dorms. Scott immediately took his flashlight from his drawer, oblivious to the fact that Auggie and Ezra were still up. They gave him puzzled looks as he furiously signaled out the window.  
  
"Scott, man, you okay?" Auggie ventured.  
  
No response. Shelby wasn't responding.  
  
She was too busy emptying the contents of her stomach in the bathroom, as a concerned Kat held her hair.  
  
Daisy sat up in bed. Scott's flashlight blinked incessantly above her head as she heard the sound of Shelby's retching. She had the distinct impression that something was horribly wrong. She hesitantly padded to the bathroom. Shelby was crouched in the corner shaking as Kat stroked her hair. Wordlessly, Daisy sank to the floor and embraced them both.  
  
  
  
Mr. Barringer smiled contentedly. As far as he was concerned, all was right with the world. There would be plenty of time to reconnect with Scott in the morning.  
  
His wife gave an ironic chuckle beside him. He loved the sound of her laugh. "What's so funny?" he asked, smiling at her indulgently.  
  
"Nothing," she said, patting his hand. "Just looking forward to tomorrow."   
  
  
End Chapter Six  
  
It seemed wrong to break this chapter up into parts. In my opinion, it ruined the flow. So that's why this chapter is twice as long as the rest. Also, if you haven't noticed, you won't find too many author's notes or comments before chapters, since I find that highly distracting. And while I'm at it, is there anyone out there still reading? I can't tell. (hint hint) For now I'll chalk it up to the instability of the site. But soon there won't be any more excuses. 


	7. The Truth Will Set You Free

Dance  
Chapter Seven: The Truth Will Set You Free  
  
  
  
"Shelby, what happened?" Daisy was truly scared for her. She had never seen her so upset before. Shelby was the master of keeping everything inside. The fact that she was breaking down in front of them for once spoke volumes.  
  
"Are you sick?" Kat asked gently.  
  
Shelby closed her eyes and shook her head. "I think it's passed."  
  
Juliette strolled into the bathroom. "Can someone please tell Scott to stop shining his flashlight in the window? I'm trying to sleep." She stopped suddenly. The other three girls were huddled on the floor, talking in hushed tones. "What's going on?"  
  
Shelby couldn't stop shaking. She was angry, because that woman had hurt Scott and was going to get away with it. She was hurt, because no matter how much Elaine's insults were bitter and said out of malice, they were still true. '...trashy little whore...' She was scared, because what if Elaine was right? 'How long do you think it will be before he gets tired of you too?' What would she do if he didn't want to be her friend anymore? She was disgusted, because she had let Elaine mess with her head. But most of all, she was repulsed that there could be anyone like Elaine in the world.  
  
She lunged for the toilet as her stomach turned over again. She felt like her body was trying to cleanse itself of any trace of that woman. Not that she could blame it. Is this how Scott felt, after... She gagged painfully, her throat burning, as the familiar pungent taste swept through her mouth. Hot tears squeezed out of her eyes and mingled with the sweat seeping from her skin.   
  
Daisy ran to her side. "Get Peter or Sophie," she said helplessly to Kat. "I don't know what's wrong with her. She might need a doctor."  
  
Kat nodded. She looked at Shelby sympathetically, then tore out of the cabin, not even bothering with a coat.  
  
"What can I do?" asked Juliette worriedly.  
  
"Go get Scott. I have a feeling he knows what's going on."  
  
"No," Shelby protested weakly. Her eyes widened in panic. He can't know anything about this. She couldn't let him know how she let Elaine get to her.  
  
"Fine, look out for Peter or Sophie then."  
  
Juliette nodded, glad to be useful. She ran to the window.   
  
By this time, Scott and the others were almost to the door of the girls' dorm. Scott was worried about Shelby. Seeing Kat run out of the cabin, seemingly not caring that it was past curfew or about getting caught, was the only excuse he needed to go investigate.  
  
He nearly tore the door off its hinges. Juliette whirled around from the window, startled. "What's wrong?" he asked, his heart racing. "Where's Shelby?"  
  
He surveyed the room. Three of the beds were disturbed. It looked like they had been vacated hastily. The fourth, the one he knew must be Shelby's, was untouched. He looked at the bathroom door. It was partly open. A thin triangle of light poured out onto the dark floor boards. He moved toward the door.  
  
"I don't think she wants to see you," Juliette said hesitantly.  
  
There was no stopping him. He pushed the door open all the way. "Shelby?"  
  
Juliette looked at Auggie helplessly. "What's going on?" he asked, frowning.  
  
"I'm not sure. Shelby is pretty upset. I've never seen her like that before." Her voice was hushed, almost in awe.  
  
"Something must've happen when she was with Scott and his parents," Ezra spoke up. "Scott was acting weird when he came back too."   
  
Auggie shook his head. "I don't know, man. Something doesn't feel right."   
  
Scott poked his head in the bathroom. Shelby was hunched over the toilet. She was pale and shaking. Her face was wet, from tears or sweat, he didn't know. Daisy held her hair with one hand and rubbed her back with the other. She looked at him gratefully. "Maybe you can tell me what's going on."  
  
He ignored her. Shelby had been fine until he had let her go to the bathroom with Elaine. This was all his fault.  
  
Shelby pulled herself away form the porcelain and painfully curled up into a ball on the floor. Just don't think about it, she told herself. Think about something else.  
  
Scott kneeled on the floor next to her. She finally registered his presence. She turned her head away. "Go away," she whispered weakly.  
  
"No," he said stubbornly. "Shelby, what did she do to you?"  
  
"Nothing," she mumbled.  
  
"Shelby, you have to tell me what she did to you. Did she hurt you? What did she say?" His voice grew louder with every question.  
  
"You're not helping," Daisy told him reproachfully.  
  
He bit back a hostile comment. She was right. He gathered Shelby's limp body in his arms. He gently picked her up and carried her out of the bathroom. He deposited her carefully on her bed and swept the damp hair off of her forehead. "I'm sorry," he whispered.  
  
Her throat was too raw to respond. She felt weak. I'm probably dehydrated, she realized. She didn't like being the center of attention. Everyone was standing around her bed like she was dying or something. She wished they would go away.  
  
Peter and Sophie barged in a few minutes later. They were out of breath because they had been all the way across campus, ready to go home, when Kat had finally found them.   
  
"I want everyone to go to the boys' dorm," Peter announced. His tone left no room for argument. "You're going to be on the Honor system. Don't make me regret this."   
  
"I'm staying," Scott said quietly.   
  
"I really don't think-" Sophie began.  
  
"I'm staying," he repeated firmly.  
  
Peter acquiesced. He glanced at Sophie, silently giving her instructions. He pulled Scott over to the far side of the cabin as Sophie cautiously lowered herself to the corner of Shelby's bed.  
  
"Shelby? Are you alright?" Her voice was low and soothing.   
  
Shelby shook her head.  
  
"Tell me what's wrong."   
  
"I can't."   
  
"Why not?"  
  
"It's not my story to tell."  
  
Sophie patted her hand and crossed the room to where Peter was waiting to compare notes.   
  
"He won't tell me anything."  
  
"Ditto."  
  
"Alright, let's talk to them both at the same time. Maybe they'll be more forthcoming."  
  
  
  
"Can you tell what's going on over there?"  
  
"Maybe, if you'd get your fat head out of the way!"  
  
"Move over!"  
  
"Go to the other window!"  
  
"No, I was here first."  
  
"Wait, now they're talking to both of them. Scott looks nervous."  
  
  
  
  
"Scott, how was the visit with your parents?" asked Peter.  
  
He looked at his hands. "It was good seeing my dad again."  
  
"But that's not what I asked you," Peter said slowly. "Shelby? What about you? Did you have fun?"  
  
If it was possible, her face paled even whiter.  
  
Scott played with the edge of his shirt. He knew what she was doing. Elaine did something to her to make her upset, but she wouldn't tell Peter, because then she'd have to tell him what Elaine had done to him. He felt his fear of Elaine ebb away, while his anger intensified. He couldn't take it anymore. He was sick of lying to everyone, his father, his friends, Peter...He was tired of being scared and manipulated. He was tired of everyone thinking that he did drugs just for the heck of it. It was time for some truth.  
  
"Scott? What is it?"  
  
He snapped. "I hate her!" he yelled. His face darkened. His voice rose and his face contorted in fury.   
  
Sophie jumped in surprise at his outburst. "Who?"  
  
"Elaine..." Peter said. It all made sense now. The clues had been there, he just hadn't been able to put it together.   
  
"She broke up my family! She stole my father and she stole my life! She...she made me..." He punched the air in frustration. "She made me have sex with her!"  
  
Sophie gasped. Suddenly, all the anger bottled up inside Scott began to make sense. Her eyes became sorrowful. Her heart reached out to him.  
  
"She wouldn't leave me alone! I told her to stop and she wouldn't. She-" He stopped suddenly as the sobs wracked through his body. He fell to his knees, whispering now. "She wouldn't stop. She's the reason I had to get high everyday. It's her fault." He dragged his gaze to Shelby.   
  
She was sitting up, wide eyed. Even she had not expected that degree of rage and anguish.   
  
"I'm sorry, Shelby," he said. "This is all my fault. I'm sorry you had to be around her and I'm sorry for whatever she did to you. I'm so sorry!"   
  
The tears poured freely down his face as he gave into the pain and relief he felt at finally having told the truth.  
  
"Scott," she said quietly. Her throat was still sore and raspy, but he needed to hear this. "You don't have anything to be sorry about. None of this is your fault. None." Her face wrinkled in disgust. "She's the one with problems. And she didn't do anything to me. Empty threats. That's all it was. I got scared because I thought that maybe she was right about some of the things she said. But I know now that she's not."   
  
How could she have ever been so dumb as to think that Scott wouldn't want to be her friend? They depended on each other. Elaine had seen that and twisted it into something to taunt her with. Well, it wasn't going to work. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck.   
  
"I hate her," he sobbed.  
  
"I know."  
  
Peter cleared his throat. They both looked up. They had almost forgotten he and Sophie were there.  
  
"Scott, I'm sorry to have to tell you this. I have to report what you just told me."  
  
"To who?"  
  
"To Child Services. There will be an investigation into the allegations. Possibly a trial."  
  
"I just want to make her pay for what she did to me," he spat. He paused, a new thought suddenly popping into his head. "Do I have to tell my dad?" he asked pathetically.  
  
"He's going to find out anyway. Don't you think it would be better if he heard it from you?"  
  
"No one's ever going to believe me."  
  
"I believe you," he said, looking him straight in the eye.   
  
"So do I," she whispered in his ear.  
  
He nodded grimly. "I just want it to be over."  
  
  
  
Much later, Shelby finally burrowed under her blankets. Everyone had been allowed back into the dorms. She had assured Peter and Sophie that she was fine now. But was she really? She knew that Scott would never turn his back on her because he was tired of her. But what about when he found out that she really was a skank?  
  
What would make her different from Elaine in his eyes? They had both taken sex and twisted it into something dirty and ugly. They had both used it to suit their own purposes. Was she really all that different from that horrible woman?   
  
She vowed never to tell him. He would never understand.  
  
  
  
Morning came all too quickly. The Barringers were expected to arrive after breakfast. Needless to say, no one ate much that morning. The rest of the Cliffhangers knew something was up. They didn't know the exact details, but they could feel a disturbance, something that was definitely out of place.  
  
Peter approached the Cliffhanger's table. They were all staring down at their plates morosely. He couldn't tell if it was because of last night's excitement and the subsequent lack of sleep, or the innate knowledge that something was amiss.   
  
"Scott."  
  
He looked up, resigned.   
  
"They're here."  
  
He nodded.   
  
Shelby squeezed his hand under the table. "Do you want me to come?"  
  
"No," he said quickly. "I need to do this alone. And I don't want you anywhere near her."  
  
He pushed his chair away from the table. They looked at him, silently wishing him luck. He walked away.   
  
Peter gave them a reassuring glance, then hurried after Scott.  
  
Shelby cradled her chin in her hands glumly. For the first time in a long time, she raised a silent prayer to God.  
  
  
  
Martin Barringer's knees buckled in shock. He quickly sat down on the hard wood chair before he could collapse. Scott had to be lying. He was still not himself. He couldn't be. His son would never say the things that were pouring out of Scott's mouth. His son was a star football player, always surrounded by friends. His son was a good kid, liked by teachers and adults.  
  
His son was staring at him, resigned to his fate. His shoulders slumped and his head bowed. But he didn't cry. He had no more tears left. He saw the refusal in his father's eyes. He knew he was asking his father to believe the impossible, to trust him even though he had no reason to anymore. It was a lost cause. His father had lost everything after he had turned to drugs, and now he was asking him to give up his new wife in exchange for a broken son? The hardest part was seeing his father's eyes turn to stone, as if he wasn't really seeing him. As if he was a nameless stranger, just someone he might pass on the street.  
  
Elaine was stunned. When had she lost control of the situation? She maintained her composure on the outside, looking innocent and shocked at the accusations. Inside, the first signs of panic grabbed her heart and threatened to choke her. Peter Scarbrow was scrutinizing her and she didn't like it. Could he tell? Could he tell that she was guilty?  
  
Martin looked from his wife to his son helplessly. His wife, his beautiful, lovely wife, looked outraged. His eyes roamed her face. Is it possible that he could have been so wrong about someone? Could he have fallen in love with someone who could do the terrible things that she was being accused of? He didn't want to believe it. He was scared to admit to himself that he could have been blinded and fooled by the things she wanted him to see. So he didn't.  
  
The next blow was brutal for Scott. His father grabbed Elaine's hand and led her out of the door. He looked at his son then quickly looked away, as if pained by the sight of him.   
  
"Mr. Barringer, wait." Peter unsuccessfully tried to keep him from running away.  
  
In the midst of all the confusion, Scott caught Elaine's look of triumph. 'I win,' it said. She smirked at him as the door closed behind her.  
  
Utter silence. Before Peter could say anything, he ran outside. He saw the tail lights of his father's car speeding farther and farther away from him. He felt like his still beating heart had been ripped out of him with a dull knife. The father he had always worshipped and looked up to had made his decision. He felt like an orphan.   
  
But an indescribable emotion began to work its way up from the very bottoms of his feet and radiate through his limbs. Relief. The truth was out there, no longer trapped inside his head or his heart. He was finally free. It was a bittersweet moment.  
  
Peter stepped out of the lodge. He patted Scott's shoulder. "He'll come around. It's just going to take some time."   
  
"I hope so."  
  
"What you did today took courage. I'm so proud of you. No matter what lies she tries to hide behind, you have the truth on your side. Just remember that."  
  
  
  
Daisy and Shelby sat beneath the shade of a large oak tree. Shelby looked at her watch for the fifth time within the last ten minutes.   
  
"I'm sure he's alright," Daisy ventured.  
  
Shelby said nothing.  
  
"What about you? Are you alright?"  
  
"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"  
  
"I just thought-"  
  
"Well you obviously thought wrong," she snapped.  
  
Daisy was unruffled. Shelby's self preservation tactics had ceased to be a mystery to her a long time ago.  
  
"What got you so upset last night?"  
  
"I don't know," she admitted. "Just the thought of that woman-"  
  
"-and what she did to Scott," Daisy supplied.  
  
"No, it wasn't just that. This is going to sound insane, but it was almost like part of her saw something in me and knew me." She shuddered. "She made me feel so low. As if I was so low that it wasn't even worth the effort to look at me."  
  
"You are nothing like her." Daisy's intuitive nature picked up on what Shelby was really scared of.   
  
"How do you know?" she whispered. "The things I've done-"  
  
"-have helped shape you, but they don't define you."  
  
Shelby mulled that statement over.  
  
"You're going to have to face your past, you know. You can't hide from it forever."  
  
"No," she said, standing up. "But I can try."  
  
  
  
He found her later that afternoon, sitting by herself in the lodge. She waited for him to speak.  
  
"For the first time in a long time," he confessed, "I feel safe in my own skin."  
  
She smiled sadly. "That must feel great."  
  
"You helped me face my demons. I want to return the favor." He was serious. He realized he knew next to nothing about her past.  
  
"I don't think I'm ready for that yet," she said, hugging a pillow closer to her chest.  
  
He pulled a bundle from behind his back. "Then maybe you can start with this."   
  
She looked at her old ballet slippers. "I stopped being this girl a long time ago." She reached out and traced the lines of the ribbons. A memento from her past. "Will you hold onto them for me?"  
  
A look of confusion.  
  
"I don't want them now. But I might...someday."   
  
  
  
  
End Chapter Seven  
  
Some random concerns:  
Am I getting too melodramatic? Have I softened Shelby's character too much? Have I made Scott into a wuss? Do I use the same words or expressions too freakin much?  
  
Constructive criticism is always appreciated.   
  
And I usually don't do this, but...  
  
To Hidden Identity: Thank you so much. Your comments always mean so much to me, and I appreciate that you've stuck with me from way back at the GG board. You're awesome. 


	8. Masquerade

Dance

Chapter Eight: Masquerade 

***

_"Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself, and covered with a perfect shell, such a charming beautiful exterior. Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes and perfect posture, but you're barely scraping by, but you're barely scraping by. Well this is one time, this is one time that you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone or anyone at all, or anyone at all..."_

-_The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most_, Dashboard Confessional

***

Her smiles never quite reached her eyes these days. Not that he ever noticed. Scott was changing. She could hardly see any trace of the angst-ridden teen that had wormed his way into her heart. In the span of a few short weeks, his angry eyes had gradually been replaced with sky blue orbs that radiated peace and tranquility. She loved the clarity of the gaze that was frequently directed at her, but it didn't understand her. He didn't understand her. 

It was there that the first barrier had been erected between them. Scott had reached a level of existence that Shelby feared would never be in her grasp. His demons had been faced and defeated. His secrets had been revealed and accepted with friendship and understanding. She could no longer expect him to share her pain, because he was no longer suffering.

She didn't begrudge his peace. But she wasn't happy about it either. How could she be happy that he was drifting away from her, slowly but surely? She tried to act like nothing was wrong. She smiled when he smiled, she laughed when he laughed. But when his back was turned, the sullen look always returned.

He didn't notice how superficial her happiness was. She was playing a part and he bought her performance hook, line, and sinker. He didn't know any better, because he didn't know her. Not _really_ know her. 

The bond they had formed out of their mutual anguish was slowly beginning to crumble as he healed. Shelby's wounds stung her as violently as the day she had first received them. Every day they penetrated her skin, cutting her deeper and harsher than before. The weight of her fear and shame weighed heavily on her shoulders, but she refused to ease her burden. She didn't know how.

And slowly but surely, her mask began to tear. The scared little girl hiding within the stoic shell of the bitter teenager was threatened with exposure. The facade began to slip through her fingers like sand. Still, she held on tighter, her resolve never wavering. But it was only a matter of time before it would slip away completely.

***

Peter began to recognize a disturbing trend. As Scott improved, Shelby retrogressed. Scott was finally beginning to deal with his problems. He spoke more in group. He was honest and frank with Peter in their one-on-one sessions. And on the surface, he remained as close to Shelby as ever. But Shelby was as sullen and moody as she had been when she first arrived. She tried to keep up appearances, for the most part. But the subtle progress she had begun to make in the wake of her friendship with Scott had deteriorated into virtual nonexistence. She had been at Horizon for nearly six months, but had yet to reveal her past. He had learned about the drugs and prostitution from her mother. It was in her file. But he knew instinctively that there had to be more to it than that. His hands were tied. He could not pressure her; he would support her no matter how hard she tried to push everyone away.

***

"Mail," Kat announced cheerfully. She tossed small bundles of envelopes tied with twine onto their beds.

Shelby ignored the stampede created by the other girls and continued scribbling away at her English paper.

"What's the matter, Shelby?" Juliette asked sweetly. "No one care enough to write?"

Shelby tried to ignore how much the comment hurt her. Even though it was the truth. Her mother hadn't written to her once since she'd dumped her there, and Juliette knew it. She tried not to think about how much she wanted to shove her pencil right between the Princess's obnoxiously bright eyes. Instead, she smiled tightly. "Did your new personality come yet?" she asked, gesturing to Juliette's pile of mail.

Kat sighed deeply. "Don't you two ever get tired of fighting?"

"She got in my face first," Shelby shrugged.

"Anyway," Kat continued, "if you would have bothered to look, you would have seen this." She held up a white envelope with Shelby's name on it.

Her eyes lit up before she could stop them. She tried to play it cool. "Thanks," she said indifferently, turning back to her essay as Kat placed the envelope on top of her books.

She quickly pocketed the envelope as she gathered her folders and notebooks. "Gotta get to class," she mumbled. She forced herself to saunter out of the cabin casually. 

When she was certain she was far enough away from their prying eyes, she tore into the envelope. A glossy, drug store card greeted her. "Happy Birthday," it said, in flowery letters. She opened the card. Her mother's angular cursive scrawled across most of the inside cover. She began to read. 

***

Scott tried to stifle another yawn. He looked at the clock. Ten more minutes until Pre-Calc was over. He tapped his pencil against his open notebook. It left little marks dotted all over his notes. He erased them, careful not to smudge anything. 

Was anyone else as bored as he was? He looked around. Nope, they were all paying rapt attention, their eyes focused on the blackboard. Except for Shelby. He craned his neck, trying to see over her shoulder. She was sitting right in front of him, but he couldn't see what she was pulling discreetly out of her notebook.

He sat back against his chair. He still couldn't see, and it was only making his neck hurt. She would tell him after class. Or maybe not. Actually, she hadn't been telling him much of anything lately. He frowned. She had been very distant the last few days. Why? Was it something he had done? He searched his memory. 

He was still thinking when the bell rang, signaling the end of class. He slammed his notebook shut and jumped to his feet. But she was already hurrying away. He fought against the other students, pushing his way to the door. She was halfway down the steps. He ran to catch up. "Shelby!"

She didn't hear him. She seemed to walk faster.

He was closer now. "Shelby, wait up!"

She stopped. "Hey," she said. "I didn't see you back there."

"So, uh, what have you been up to?"

She shrugged. "The usual. Why?"

He fiddled with a loose thread on his shirt. "You haven't been around a lot, that's all."

"I don't know what to tell you," she said evenly. She watched in fascination as his eyes turned a deeper blue in frustration. "Look, I have to go. I'll catch up with you later." She tried not to run away.

He watched her as she walked farther and farther away from him. A card lay at his feet. He picked it up curiously. Shelby must have dropped it. He read the front. She hadn't told him it was her birthday! Well if _he_ hadn't known, then who had? Who was the card from? He opened it.

***

_Shelby,_

Happy Birthday. I know I'm probably the last person you expected to hear from today, but this is my holiday as much as it is yours. I'm sorry I haven't written to you before this. I didn't know what to say. I still don't. I'm angry that you ran away from your family in favor of living on the streets. I'm disgusted over the way I found you. But you're my daughter and I love you. 

I hope you are getting better. I want you to come home. We all want you to come home. Have a good birthday.

Love,

Mom 

***

Shelby blinked back tears in the privacy of the woods. She almost wished her mother had forgotten about her birthday. That would have been preferable to the self-serving message she had sent instead. As always, her mother had displayed an amazing lack of tact and understanding. It was why Shelby never told anyone what happened to her. If her own mother wouldn't believe it, how would anyone else? If her own mother would condemn the choices she made, how would anyone else understand? 

She was angry that her mother had used her birthday as an excuse to relieve her conscious of the fact that she had neglected her daughter for all this time. Now that she had reminded her daughter once again of how disappointed and disgusted she was with her, she could merrily live out her life with that pervert she called a husband.

She was going to burn the card, she decided. She flipped through her notebook. The envelope fell out of its pages. She reached inside the envelope. Nothing. She flipped through it again. It has to be here somewhere, she thought wildly. I must have dropped it, she realized. What if someone read it? She tried to remember the exact wording of the message. Would anyone realize the truth?

***

Scott understood Shelby's distance now. After receiving a birthday card like that, who wouldn't be? He was angry on her behalf. He read the card again. What had she meant when she wrote that she was "disgusted" by the way she found her? And he hadn't known that Shelby had run away. She had never told him. It looked like she had never told him a lot of things.

He tried not to let it bother him. But a question echoed annoyingly inside his head. What else isn't she telling you?

***

She combed the entire campus. She traced and retraced every step she had taken since receiving the card. She still couldn't find it. She ended her search by the docks. She had been avoiding it for the last few weeks. She couldn't take the extreme effort it took to make Scott think she was okay. But she needed to seek comfort from the ancient boards and the clear sky.

He had beaten her there. He was waiting for her. She debated leaving before he saw her, but decided against it. Lately, she was having a lot of trouble deciding whether she wanted to see him or avoid him. She cared for him deeply. But they were too different now. He was well on his way to recovery while she was still bogged down by her past.

He heard her approach. "Hey." 

"Hey," she responded.

"Happy Birthday."

She tensed. "How did you know?"

He pulled the card from his notebook and held it out to her.

She snatched it away. He watched solemnly as she ripped it to shreds and hurled them over the water. She turned to him, her eyes blazing. "Did you read it?"

He nodded. 

"Why?"

"I was jealous that someone else knew it was your birthday and I didn't." He stuck his chin out petulantly.

She glared at him. "You had no right to read that. You knew it was mine."

He glared back. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm not big on birthdays," she said sarcastically.

"That you ran away from home," he clarified, through clenched teeth.

"It's none of your business," she snapped.

"What's wrong with you!" he exploded. "I thought we were friends!"

"Just because we're friends I have to tell you everything about me? I can't have secrets?" She couldn't believe her ears. 

"I told you everything about my life! And you don't tell me anything about yours. That's real fair!"

"You wouldn't understand!"

"How do you know that if you won't give me a chance?"

"Because my own mother doesn't understand! _I_ don't understand! How could you possibly understand!"

"Try me!"

"No." She crossed her arms over her chest defiantly and narrowed her eyes.

He stood up. He towered over her angrily. 

She stood her ground. She couldn't believe that he was trying to use his height to intimidate her.

He was hurt. He trusted her with everything he had, but she didn't trust him enough to tell him whatever it was that she was hiding. He masked his hurt with anger. He glowered at her one last time before he brushed her aside and stormed away from the docks.

Her anger disappeared. Another wall between them. And this time she had placed it there deliberately. But it didn't matter. She hadn't slipped up. The mask was still intact. 

End Chapter Eight


	9. Shells of Faith

Dance

Chapter Nine: Shells of Faith

***

__

You walk like you're in a daze

Unresponsive eyes in a distant gaze

Like all the good times have flown away

And their memory leaves a bitter taste

-Burn Baby Burn, Ash

***

They barely spoke to each other anymore. There was no use pretending that everything was okay. She placed her need for secrecy over the value of their friendship. He could not believe that she appeared to be indifferent to the changes in their relationship. Though they had been friends for only a few short weeks, those weeks had affected him and changed him greatly. He missed the conversations on the docks and the way she would grab his hand. He missed the way she made him feel, as if she understood him completely and didn't think any less of him for it. But most of all, he missed _her_: the brief smiles, the sarcastic eye rolls, the sound of her voice.

He tried to work his way back into her favor, but she wouldn't let him in. Little by little, he stopped trying. He could only take so much rejection, and he could definitely take a hint. She didn't want him in her life anymore. Fine. But through it all, he couldn't put his finger on the unknowingly committed sin that had been so unpardonable. Whatever it was, it had cost him dearly. It had cost him her friendship. 

He found himself grilling the other Cliffhangers for information. Was she okay? Did she mention him at all? Why was she acting like that? What had he done? He received no satisfying answers. The others might have known her longer, but the only one she had partially warmed up to was Scott. It was her nature to keep everyone safely an arm's length away. They knew nothing. They had tried to get her to open up when she had first arrived, but even then she had barely tolerated their presence. It was no different now. 

Only Daisy, the newest of the group, still reached out to her. And if she knew anything, she wasn't talking. She and Scott had a natural contempt for each other. He scorned everything he didn't understand, and he most certainly didn't understand her cryptic statements and fixation with death. She thought he was a self-centered, immature pansy. They didn't understand each other at all. The misconceptions between them continued to stand because they didn't care enough to correct them. Not even to help Shelby, the only connection the two of them could hope to forge.

He contented himself with observation. At meals, in class, at group, anywhere and everywhere. He needed to discover why she had cut herself off from him. Only then could he fix it. 

***

At breakfast that morning she appeared to be her normal self. She ate, she exchanged barbs with Juliette, and she rolled her eyes at the usual breakfast chatter. She ignored Scott. But he was the only one who noticed that her movements were mechanical, performed flawlessly out of a practiced routine. The usual spark in her eyes was gone. The pride in one upping Juliette was absent from her voice. She was a shell of the girl she had been so recently. And no one suspected a thing, because that was the only way they had ever seen her. 

He shook his head as he tossed his half-eaten toast on his plate. His eyes swept over her face as she raised the glass of orange juice to her lips. Perfect beauty, marred only by the faint circles under her eyes. Her eyes betrayed her. They told him everything he needed to know. 

She caught him staring at her. The glass lowered to the table with a dull thud. Making a hasty excuse, she scraped her chair away from the table and picked up her tray. Her eyes remained focused on the floor after disposing of the remains of her breakfast. Then, almost as an afterthought, her shoulders straightened and her chin lifted. She walked confidently from the room. But her golden tresses couldn't hide the tension in her neck, and the sleeves of her sweater weren't long enough to disguise the shaking in her hands.

He did not follow her. In the brief second that she had looked at him, her thoughts had betrayed her. She wasn't angry with him. She was scared. And it scared him that he scared her. What could she have to fear from him? He would do anything for her. He would sooner lose an arm than intentionally hurt her. But there was nothing to be done. Nothing _could_ be done until he knew why. 

***

In English class she remained silent, even as a heated discussion erupted around her. 

"How can you say that Dimmsdale suffered more than Hester Prynne?" Juliette argued. "She was openly persecuted for her sins, forced to wear a scarlet letter, while Dimmsdale escaped with no punishment at all!"

"Dimmsdale's guilt ate him alive," Daisy responded. "He suffered for it. Hester's crime was revealed for the world to see. She accepted it and was better off because of it."

"Which begs the question," Sophie interrupted, taking control of the rapidly increasing tempers, "would Dimmsdale have died if he had owned up to his past?"

"But that's the point," Scott interjected. "He made the wrong decision. If he could have just opened up to people he could have overcome his guilt too. The people of the town had faith in him, they would have supported him even though he made a mistake."

"You make it sound too easy," Daisy scoffed. "That's exactly why he couldn't tell anyone his secret. They would have lost their faith in him if they had known."

"He didn't know that for sure."

"But he was scared that they might. That was enough." Shelby's quiet but firm words resonated through the now silent classroom. 

He turned in his chair to address her. "That's the problem, then. No one has enough faith in the people that care about them to tell them what's really going on." 

She leaned back in her chair. "Maybe it's none of their business."

He continued on as if he hadn't heard her. "And if he didn't have faith in them, it doesn't seem fair that they should have faith in him."

"But faith isn't a trade off," protested Ezra softly. "There isn't any proof or reasoning. That's why it's faith. You don't have a logical reason to believe, but you do anyway."

"It's harder for some people to have faith than others," Sophie reminded them. "And one of the points Hawthorne was trying make is the importance of faith, and whether faith, once lost, can be regained again…"

He slumped back down in his seat. The problem was all too clear to him. She didn't have faith in him. She didn't trust him.

***

__

feelings are distant, I know guilt by name

it was the hardest thing, watching you slip away

-Sometimes, Ash

***

He accidentally stumbled across them that afternoon. They were sitting in a grove of trees in the middle of the forest. He couldn't help himself. He hid behind a tree trunk and listened to their conversation.

"He cares about you, you know," Daisy told Shelby, pointing out the obvious.

"Maybe. Or maybe he cares about the girl he thinks I am."

Scott recoiled. She doubted him that much, that she would question if he cared about her or not?

"You'll never know unless you're straight with him."

"I care about him. I do."

"You have an odd way of showing it."

"I'm protecting him."

"No, you're protecting yourself. You're afraid of rejection."

"I wish it were that simple," Shelby said sarcastically. "I'm scared of revulsion and disgust. Rejection I can handle, but I wouldn't be able to stand it if he looked at me like I was a whore. Which would be understandable," she said, with a bitter chuckle.

His mind swam. He must be hearing things. She couldn't mean what he thought she meant. No way.

"You are _not_ a whore," Daisy said firmly. "And don't you think he deserves the benefit of the doubt? Maybe he'll surprise you."

Dimly, he was aware that Daisy was defending him. He was slightly gratified to hear it.

"I'm terrified I'm going to lose him," she choked out. She was fighting to keep the tears in.

"So you'd rather push him away than have him walk away?"

"I don't know." Her voice was strained. She sniffled. "I'm tired of acting like I don't care. I'm tired of pretending. But I can't stop."

"Shel, you have to have faith in him. The guilt is tearing you up inside. Withholding this information isn't doing either one of you any good. He'll slip away if you don't tell him."

"And he'll run away if I do."

"You don't know that."

"But I fear it. And that's enough." She shivered as she echoed her words from earlier that day.

His denial kicked in, full force. Okay, obviously something was going on. She didn't want to tell him something because she was afraid of what his reaction would be. Misplaced fear, but fair enough. He knew she didn't trust easily. He would just have to show her that he was worthy of her trust. Although, letting her know that he had listened in on a private conversation admittedly wasn't the best place to start.

Shelby's voice floated through the trees, uttering the fateful words. "How do I tell him that I sold myself on the street? That I was a prostitute?" 

The disgust in her voice was evident, but it did nothing to lessen the coldness he felt at her words. He heard the pounding of blood in his ears. This was her big secret? This is what she was scared to tell him, fearing that he would turn his back on her? Part of him was scared to admit it, but maybe she had been right. He freaked out. He didn't want to hear anymore. A gust of wind rustled the leaves, covering up the noise he made as he ran away.

"Just tell him the truth," Daisy counseled gently. "If not for him, then for you."

Shelby's eyes were troubled. "I need to think about it."

"Don't you think you've done enough agonizing? Stop torturing yourself."

"Agony is preferable to shame. And shame is the only thing I ever feel about my past."

"Then maybe it's time to finally put the past behind you."

"If I could only be sure the past would stay in the past."

"It will. But only if you let it."

***

He skipped dinner. He hid in the dorm room, claiming he wasn't feeling well. Which wasn't too far from the truth. He couldn't wrap his mind around it. Shelby, his best friend Shelby, had been abused by her stepfather, had run away, and had slept with men for money. It was slowly becoming clear to him. Her casual attitudes about using her body to get what she wanted, her relentless come-ons, her mom's birthday card, and most recently, her distance from him. And she didn't know that her worst secret was out. She knew everything about him and now he knew everything about her. Well, that was what he had wanted. Fair and square. Now they were even. But he took no satisfaction or comfort in that knowledge. He didn't know how he could face her when he saw her. It pained him that her fears were justified. He didn't know her at all, but she could read him like a book. All this time he had thought she was the one who was extinguishing their friendship, but it had been him from the beginning.

His skin tingled and flushed. He felt feverish. He didn't like the direction his thoughts were headed. She had _sold_ herself on the street. She had sex with men for money. Why? How could she do that to herself, especially after what her stepfather had done to her? How could she have let any man touch her after that? Was she heartless, without emotion or feeling? How the _hell_ could she have sunk to that level?

A pink ribbon dangled precariously from the shelf behind his bed. He looked at it in disbelief. It couldn't be possible that the little girl who had worn that slipper was the same girl who had…He swatted at it angrily, not caring when the slipper and its mate tumbled from the shelf and came to rest on the floor next to his desk. He didn't pick them up. Why bother? They were already dirty.

His mind was conflicted. He was torn between disgust and acceptance. He didn't understand why she had done it, but it was over with. In the past. It couldn't have stained her forever, because he had accepted her and her friendship weeks ago, well after it happened but before he even knew. So why couldn't he just get past it? Maybe she could explain it in some way that would make sense to him. Except she hadn't even made her mind up to tell him yet. In fact, all this time she had been actively concealing it from him. With good reason, he couldn't help thinking.

He reclined on his bed and shut his eyes. His troubled thoughts turned into troubled dreams. He tossed and turned through the night but any conclusions remained elusive, even in sleep. 

The moon had risen to its highest point in the starry sky when he finally gave up on the pretense of restful sleep. Auggie and Ezra were fast asleep in their beds, untroubled by any of the thoughts plaguing him. He had to see her. He was out the door within minutes. He closed the distance to her window in seconds, the moon plainly casting light on his uncaring form. He peeked in her window. 

Her hand was fisted around the blanket tightly. Her brow was furrowed with worry. At least he wasn't the only one that restful sleep eluded that night. And yet, despite the troubled look and the worry lines creasing her forehead, she still looked beautiful. Her lips were slightly parted, expelling her breath in slow, even pants. Moonlight pooled around her golden head. She almost seemed to glow. He looked upon her reverently, almost forgetting everything he knew. He made a decision. He had to get past this. Everything that was important to him depended on it.

End Chapter Nine


	10. Resolution

Dance

Chapter Ten: Resolutions

***

res·o·lu·tion   
  
1 : the act or process of reducing to simpler form: as a : the act of analyzing a complex notion into simpler ones b : the act of answering c : the act of determining 2 : the subsidence of a pathological state (as inflammation)  
3 a : something that is resolved[made a resolution to mend my ways] b : firmness of resolve  
4 : a formal expression of opinion, will, or intent voted by an official body or assembled group  
5 : the point in a literary work at which the chief dramatic complication is worked out  
synonym see COURAGE

***

__

she screams in silence

a sullen riot penetrating

through her mind

waiting for a sign

to smash the silence

with the brick of self-control

-She, Green Day

***

She watched the sun sink slowly behind the dense curtain of trees. Its dying rays of light streaked across the dimming sky. Swirls of gold, light purple, rose, and blue mingled with the mellow orange. The cotton candy clouds were colored purple and pink where the filtered light reflected. Gradually, the sky dulled. The orange muddied to a deep purple. It darkened further as the pale moon rose and the first stars of the night twinkled cheerily like heavenly beacons.

The artificial light from her desk lamp ricocheted off the surface of the window. She caught her faint reflection in the glass, barely recognizable in the bright glare. She was sitting glumly, with her chin resting in the palm of her hand. Her face was burdened with stress. She dreaded night now. She hadn't slept well in over a week and it was beginning to show. 

During the day she could pretend that everything was okay. She had chores and classes to keep her occupied. When the sun was shining, it was easier to ignore the quiet whisperings of discontent in her tormented mind. But at night there was nothing. The whispers became screams and the screams kept her from peace of mind.

She was a walking contradiction. She longed to reveal her secret even as she desperately concealed it. Her lips smiled while her eyes cried. She pushed him away even though she wished she could pull him closer. The constant inner conflict was tearing her apart. She didn't understand why everything had to be so complicated. Every day was a struggle. Come night she received no reward, except more torment. Why couldn't anything be simple?

Daisy had become her confidant. Shelby was grateful for that small blessing. In Daisy she had gained an invaluable support system. Not only that, but she could always count on Daisy to give her the cold hard truth no matter what. The truth was that she could no longer hide from her past. It was eating her alive. She slogged through each day, eating, breathing, existing, but never _living_. She wanted to live again. 

For the first time since her innocence was so cruelly stripped from her, she resolved to end the lies. It was time to stop lying to herself. Maybe then she could stop lying to everyone else. 

***

Every time he saw her he tried not to flinch. It was hard. He had been given an intimate glimpse into her life and now he didn't know how to deal with it. Luckily, she didn't seem to notice his skittishness. She was too busy ignoring him.

He was ashamed of himself. He was a horrible friend. At the first sign of trouble he had withdrawn, while she had understood his pain. She had heard the most sordid details of his life and could still look at him like he was her whole world. But he couldn't bring himself to return the gesture. He was beginning to think that he didn't deserve her friendship. Maybe she was right to pull away from him.

He spent his days trying to understand her. Still, she was an enigma. It frustrated him to no end, but it was one of the quirks he liked best about her. Just when he thought he had her all figured out, she would throw him a curve ball and knock him on his ass. The deeper he delved the more layers he discovered, and he was no closer to the heart than he was when he had started out.

He started to think that maybe he was going about this the wrong way. Maybe it wasn't important that he learn to understand her reasons. He could never do that, since he had never been put into her situation. Perhaps all she needed was acceptance. At the end of the day, all anyone ever wanted was to be accepted, regardless of his faults. And that much he _could_ offer her. Whatever had happened in her past had made her the person she had grown to be. He was willing to do anything to let her know that he would never let her down, because she meant that much to him.

***

__

you got a choice

to leave your place

your lonely place behind

be true to yourself

now and let it go

it's better than you think

-This Lonely Place, Goldfinger

***

She resolved to come clean that night. Not only to him, but to everyone. Despite what popular opinion said, Shelby didn't hate the Cliffhangers. She just didn't trust them. She didn't trust anyone but herself. But if she was going to put the past behind her, then she needed support. And if she couldn't trust her own group, then who else could she turn to?

When she approached the lodge, she stopped at the steps. She stared down at her feet and prepared herself for impending doom. An overwhelming sense of dread crept over her like a shadow. This was it. There was no turning back now. Except she couldn't bring herself to take the first step up the wood stairs. Apprehensively, she took a tentative step. It was the hardest step of her life. But the higher she climbed, the easier it became. Finally, she stood at the top. The only thing she had to do now was go inside. She took a deep breath. She quickly crossed the threshold before she could chicken out. 

She was the last to arrive. Muttering a soft apology, she sank down on one of the cushy armchairs and hugged a pillow to her chest. Kat, Juliette, and Auggie were squeezed together comfortably on the couch. Auggie's arm was casually draped over the back of the couch, ever so slightly brushing Juliette's shoulders. His finger tips absentmindedly toyed with strands of her dark hair. They were sitting closer together than usual, but it was a subconscious gesture. A small smile of contentment swept over his face while Juliette and Kat exchanged knowing glances and giggled. Daisy, an expression of boredom on her face, sat on another armchair waiting for group to be over. Her fingers rapped an irregular cadence on the cushioned arm of her chair. Ezra was by her feet, his back leaning against the edge of her chair. He was sitting silently as his eyes watched the dancing flames of the fire. Scott was fidgeting where he stood behind the couch. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, mimicking any five-year old's 'I-have-to-go-to-the-potty-NOW' dance.

As Shelby made herself comfortable in her chair, she became aware of his gaze resting on her bent head. An unreadable expression crossed his face, but as she looked up at him, his eyes softened. She smiled at him slightly. Her heart lifted as he crossed behind the couch and came to sit on the arm of her chair, the way he used to before the rift had formed between them. Her eyes were sad as she focused her attention on Peter. What she was about to do was probably going to destroy him.

Peter and Sophie were talking in hushed whispers in front of the fire. Peter's head abruptly snapped up. He looked around and saw everyone expectantly waiting for group to start. He stood up and smiled at them. "Okay, great, everyone's here. Before we start, does anyone have an issue to address?"

He waited for a signal from anyone. His eyes swept over each of their faces briefly. His gaze lingered on Shelby. She opened her mouth. No words came out and she shut it. She tried again. Open, shut. Once more. Open, shut. She gave up.

Peter was not so easily dissuaded. "Shelby? Is there something you'd like to say?"

Her face flushed. She felt like she had when she was thirteen, when her chemistry teacher had called on her to answer a question and she had not known what the answer was. Her palms began to sweat. Her neck felt unnaturally stiff and she was minutely aware of every tilt of her head. She cleared her throat self-consciously. "There's something…" She winced as her voice quavered. She swallowed past the lump in her throat and started again. "There's something I need to say to all of you." Her voice was firm and resolute. 

She looked at Peter and Sophie for encouragement. Their eyes plainly showed support as they silently urged her to go on. She took a deep breath and addressed the two adults. "I know that you're bound by law to report everything that I'm going to say to you. But I don't care. Do what you have to do." She paused, as she mentally went over everything she wanted to say.

Scott took a deep breath. The moment of truth had arrived. Or maybe not. Maybe she was just going to tell them about her stepfather. Was he ready to hear the whole truth? He guessed he would find out in a few minutes.

Daisy looked at Shelby sympathetically. She had finally arrived at the breaking point. She had finally realized that she didn't have to face her demons alone. Good for her. It was about time. 

She turned in her chair to face her group. She still clutched the overstuffed pillow to her chest. Scott had slid from the arm of her chair to the floor, so as not to block her from anyone's view. He sat Indian-style on the floor and waited patiently for her to continue.

She pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. Enough stalling, she thought. "When I first came here, you all annoyed the hell out of me, because you kept asking me what I was here for. Well, here it is. When I was fourteen, my stepfather started physically abusing me. By the time I was fifteen, it had turned into…he was raping me." Her voice dropped to a whisper.

Sophie looked horrified. Not Shelby, she thought. God, why Shelby? Is this what had driven her to prostitution? She felt tears sting to her eyes in sympathy.

Juliette felt low. Lower than low. She hadn't known. How could she have? All this time she had been calling Shelby a skank, slut, whore, and every other name in the book when she had been _raped. _She regretted every time she had started a fight with Shelby by invoking those names. And all this time she had thought Shelby was just a jealous bitch with a drug problem. Kind of like how Shelby thought she was a pampered princess. Juliette resolved to try to work out her differences with Shelby. Who knew? Maybe they could eventually end up friends. 

Scott exhaled slowly. He knew how hard that had been for her. Would she go on? He didn't know if he was prepared for her to tell him the rest.

"There's more," she said resolutely. "I couldn't take living at home anymore. My mom refused to believe what was happening. So I ran away. I ran out of money fast. I was scared and alone and I started…I…" Her eyes flickered over to Scott's face. Her voice turned as cold as steel. "I started turning tricks," she said flatly. "I became a prostitute."

Dead silence.

"My mom tracked me down and brought me here." The last sentence was said in a rush. The words bled together in a torrent of sound. "That's my story. Now you know." She spoke with an air of finality. On the outside, her features were as cold as marble. Her expression betrayed nothing. But on the inside, the butterflies in her stomach melted away. An unfamiliar feeling began to work its way up from the pit of her stomach to her skull. She was hesitant to give into the dizzying joy of that feeling until she knew if they were disgusted with her.

Daisy gave her a small reassuring smile. _I'm proud of you_, it said. Daisy was the only one who had known about everything. Even if everyone else hated her forever, she would still have Daisy.

Scott looked at her, _really _looked at her. He was certain that he'd never seen anyone so beautiful in his entire life. Her lip was trembling slightly. She was struggling to keep up the charade. But he knew now what was beneath the surface: beauty, courage, vulnerability, and countless other things he had yet to discover. He would eventually. All he needed was time.

He stood then. She remained sitting, her eyes looking up at him apprehensively. Without hesitation, he grabbed her hands and pulled her to her feet. He pulled her into a tight hug, wrapping his arms around her fiercely. He bent his head and pulled his lips close to her ear. "Thank you for telling me."

She was shocked. She felt like she was viewing the world from underwater. The sound was distorted and she only caught flashes of what was going on around her. Her warped perception caught up with reality, and the long repressed emotion finally burst and flew out from her soul. Relief. 

The rest of the Cliffhangers could hold themselves back no longer. Wordlessly, they stood up and became entangled in one big group hug. And for the first time in her life, she felt safe. She would never be alone again.

End 

Thanks to flamingteen for the information/opinions and Austin Powers quotes.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to review.

I think this is the end of the road folks. It just seems to me that this fic has reached a resolution. (See above definition). I'm sorry I didn't work in any big S/S romance, but that kinda thing isn't my expertise. 

Well, what can I say. It's been real. 


End file.
